Hello!
If you're trying to reach John "Doppler" Schiff, you've come to the right place! A link to my personal email is available below, and you're welcome to use it to ask questions, introduce yourself, chat about the weather, and any similar personal, non-commercial use. Companies and individuals wishing to send me advertisements will be assessed a fee, however, so please read the Agreement below.

Before sending me email, you must agree to the following:


Email Usage Agreement
  1. You agree that I (John "Doppler" Schiff) have never requested or solicited any communication of a commercial nature from you.

  2. You agree that in valuable consideration for my time, internet expertise, and use of my email server, any email you send which advertises or promotes any product, service, Internet destination, or political candidate will incur a US$2,500.00 fee for reading and formulating an appropriate response.

  3. You agree that failure to clearly identify the legal name of the email's sender will result in an additional fee of US$2,500.00 for analyzing and tracking down its source.

  4. You agree to accept responsibility for any email transmitted on your behalf, whether sent directly by you or by an intermediary service or software.

  5. The license fee for access of this page and pages it links to by "bots", "spiders", or other email harvesting software which do not adhere to the "robots.txt" exclusion standard is US$2,000.00 per access request. For the purposes of this contract, an "access request" is defined as any HTTP command requesting the retrieval of the output of the "spamcatcher.cfm" script.

  6. The fee for publication of any email address provided through this page or its links is US$4,900.00 per address.

  7. You agree that all fees will be paid in full within 7 days of transmission of the email or accessing this page; failure to comply will result in an additional 2% late charge, plus collection costs and legal fees.

  8. You agree that the venue for any and all dispute resolution shall be Los Angeles County, California, with the specific location chosen at the sole discretion of John F. Schiff.

  9. You submit your person to the jurisdiction of the courts of the State of California.

  10. You agree that this contract shall be governed by, construed, and enforced in accordance with the laws of the State of California.

  11. You agree to be bound by these terms of service. Clicking on the link below signifies your acceptance of these terms.

If you agree to these terms, click here for my email address.